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Categories
Activism & Action

The Cure for the Start-Up Incubator and Accelerator Gender Gap: Accountability

 

Think of this as a local case study with global application.

I decided to check out the new website of DMZRyerson University’s award-winning Campus-Led Accelerator, after reading about its latest business development hire. I was particularly interested in what it had to say about its commitment to gender diversity. While its gender performance figures are not publicly published, insiders know that they need improvement.

I was hopeful that the new site might convey a pledge to improve its record on gender equity. But from my perspective, the only reference it made was in a statement under the values* section, and it was deflating and disappointing. They might as well have just written #AllLivesMatter, since the diversity aspirations noted are so broadly inclusive to the point of being meaningless. Gender equity** that’s inclusive of women, trans and gender-nonconforming people affects more than 55 per cent of Ryerson’s student body, and more than 51 per cent of society. But it is not even specifically mentioned. There could be a number of reasons for this, but based on surprising oversights this past year—e.g., the missed opportunity to ensure the new advisory council met or exceeded Premier Kathleen Wynne’s 30 per cent threshold, and an official press release that followed with a Globe and Mail article quoting and celebrating four men and no women—I am going to have to go with the rationale that the leadership is unobservant when it comes to the gravity of this issue for a high-profile organization like theirs.

Make no mistake, I have been a fan of the DMZ and Ryerson’s various additional zones. My enterprise is a member at one of them. But as an advocate for women entrepreneurs, I can’t help but call out weak performance and miss the chance to spotlight the huge and wasted opportunity for the number-one university-based incubator in North America (according to UBI Global*** rankings) to take a leadership position on gender equity.

And it’s not just about representation. It’s also about culture. Take it from those who have been there, you can’t thrive or flourish as a marginalized entrepreneur in environments that lack inclusive language, behaviours, and organizational and program design.

In 2015, Canadian securities regulators required public companies to report on gender equality. In 2016, Premier Wynne set diversity targets for the public sector to lead by example. The big four consulting firms publish report after report citing the business case for gender diversity. There is corporate Canada’s 30% Club. The UN Millennium Development lists gender equality as goal number three. And in January, millions of women marched in the streets around the world. Times are changing.

Yet the province’s Campus-Led Accelerators (CLAs) and Regional Innovation Centres (RICs, including MaRS) are still not required or mandated to report publicly, or consistently, on gender equity and equality to those who fund them, the Ontario government and taxpayers. There is no gender lens performance scorecard for an important economic development initiative that affects the majority of our population and that costs the province tens of millions of dollars.

Why We Need a Benchmark Report and Public Accountability

The CLAs and RICs are the backbone of Ontario’s innovation and economic renewal strategy. They are managed by smart people and smart money, but still seem to have so much difficulty moving the needle on a variety of gender diversity metrics including the percentage of female founders with majority share, investment dollars raised by gender and category of investors, achieving gender equity on advisory boards (e.g., DMZ’s newly appointed advisory council has 18 members and only four are women), or finding ways to improve on satisfaction with survey feedback from female participants, which should be done via a third party to ensure feedback is authentic and given without fear of reprisal.

It’s not that they don’t try. Sort of. For example, there has been a lot of talk about the issue at conferences. And it’s not uncommon to see them deal with the veneer of the issue, like updating marketing materials to ensure images are gender balanced, or sponsoring women-led initiatives (e.g., DMZ’s sponsorship of Moving The Dial, an event for women to network with tech leaders).

While good, we know these efforts just scratch the surface. For example, some tech incubators launch female founder programs, but are surprised when they have trouble recruiting. If they had dug deeper, they’d be able to go beyond blaming the pipeline and uncover their fear that investors will not treat women founders in women’s programs seriously. Gender issues are embedded in our society, not just in incubators. And they are complex.

Making progress is therefore bound to be slow. But the creation of a publicly available gender scorecard for Ontario’s CLAs and RICs will, in my opinion, serve as an accelerant.

It’s Time to Call for Gender Equity Accountability in the Incubator and Accelerator Space, starting with the DMZ

The DMZ is considered to be one of the top startup incubators in the world. It represents Canada, a country where even our prime minister calls himself a feminist without reserve. And it is hosted by Ryerson University, a research institution that has the internal expertise to initiate a gender benchmark study in accordance with global best practices. Therefore, it is a good place to start.

Innovation and entrepreneurship matters to all of us. We, at present in Ontario, are failing an entire gender in this space—this is the only province in Canada without a women’s entrepreneurship strategy. We need to do better.

We suspect this is also the case elsewhere.

How to Move the Needle?

We can start by requesting the creation of a public gender equity scorecard for the accelerator and incubators globally.

In the specific case of the DMZ and Ontario’s innovation ecosystem. Email your concerns to Ryerson University President Mohamed Lachemi at [email protected], Premier Kathleen Wynne through this form, and the Minister of Economic Development and Growth Brad Duguid at [email protected], which is responsible for Ontario’s CLAs and the Ontario Network of Entrepreneurs (ONE).

We can also take the time to learn about best practices ourselves. I recommend reviewing this recently released B Corp guide on steps to inclusion.


* DMZ Values Statement (as of Feb. 18, 2017): “We believe that diversity—of people, of opinions, of ideas, of industries and of approaches—is essential to doing good business. To encourage and celebrate diversity, we seek to provide equal opportunities for everyone to participate in DMZ programming, events and everyday culture. The DMZ community fosters a sense of belonging, respect, and support. This provides a framework that empowers everyone to achieve their best.”

** Equality vs. Equity: “Equity and equality are two strategies we can use in an effort to produce fairness. Equity is giving everyone what they need to be successful. Equality is treating everyone the same. Equality aims to promote fairness, but it can only work if everyone starts from the same place and needs the same help.”

*** UBI Index metrics does not currently consider diversity and inclusion in its evaluation of incubators and accelerators.


Additional Related Reading

https://www.liisbeth.com/2016/06/21/confronting-gender-inequity-inclusion-innovation-space/

Categories
Our Voices

Special Gender, Innovation & Entrepreneurship Podcast Feature


LiisBeth and the Feminist Art Conference (FAC) collaborated to curate a special panel session on women’s entrepreneurship. The theme for this year’s Feminist Art Conference was “embodied resistance,” a highly appropriate theme given the conference date coincided with the Women’s March on January 21, 2017, when millions of women and allies around the world truly embodied resistance to growing misogyny, racism, and sexism following the election of U.S. President Donald Trump.
The central idea of FAC’s theme was that the form of the body is a canvas on which to create, explore or express resistance. In concert with the curatorial statement, the artists who presented works at the conference tried to “reshape our assumptions about gender roles through the type of work they take on, by exploring themes like weight, menstruation, trauma, and self care. They explored how the body can be a medium through which to explore, reshape norms, indicate resistance to norms or the dominant culture, and ultimately help us reinterpret our world, ourselves, and identify a path that leads to desirable social change.”
For women, trans ,and gender non-binary people, entrepreneurship is also a kind of resistance. And in this panel discussion, we look at the intersections between gender, innovation, and entrepreneurship.
LiisBeth contributor Cynthia MacDonald wrote, “Writer Natalie Clifford Barney once called entrepreneurship ‘the last refuge of the troublemaking individual,'” adding that “for many women, particularly those working within oppressive environments, the very act of starting a business can be frighteningly disruptive to the social order.”
In this 80-minute session, the panelists explored the intersections between gender, entrepreneurship, and innovation, and how gender shapes entrepreneurial choices, support, access to capital, and the overall experience. Their stories highlight how women entrepreneurs still face numerous barriers.
The panelists included Renish Kamal, founder of Fidget Toys, Priya Ramanujam, founder of Urbanology MagazineEmily Rose Antflick, founder and chief community cultivator at ShecosystemAllison Hillier, serial entrepreneur and instructional designer, and Valerie Fox, founder of The Pivotal Point.
We think you will enjoy their stories of resistance. To listen while connected to the web, click here.  To download the podcast, click here.

Categories
Our Voices

Special Gender, Innovation & Entrepreneurship Podcast Feature

LiisBeth and the Feminist Art Conference (FAC) collaborated to curate a special panel session on women’s entrepreneurship. The theme for this year’s Feminist Art Conference was “embodied resistance,” a highly appropriate theme given the conference date coincided with the Women’s March on January 21, 2017, when millions of women and allies around the world truly embodied resistance to growing misogyny, racism, and sexism following the election of U.S. President Donald Trump.

The central idea of FAC’s theme was that the form of the body is a canvas on which to create, explore or express resistance. In concert with the curatorial statement, the artists who presented works at the conference tried to “reshape our assumptions about gender roles through the type of work they take on, by exploring themes like weight, menstruation, trauma, and self care. They explored how the body can be a medium through which to explore, reshape norms, indicate resistance to norms or the dominant culture, and ultimately help us reinterpret our world, ourselves, and identify a path that leads to desirable social change.”

For women, trans ,and gender non-binary people, entrepreneurship is also a kind of resistance. And in this panel discussion, we look at the intersections between gender, innovation, and entrepreneurship.

LiisBeth contributor Cynthia MacDonald wrote, “Writer Natalie Clifford Barney once called entrepreneurship ‘the last refuge of the troublemaking individual,'” adding that “for many women, particularly those working within oppressive environments, the very act of starting a business can be frighteningly disruptive to the social order.”

In this 80-minute session, the panelists explored the intersections between gender, entrepreneurship, and innovation, and how gender shapes entrepreneurial choices, support, access to capital, and the overall experience. Their stories highlight how women entrepreneurs still face numerous barriers.

The panelists included Renish Kamal, founder of Fidget Toys, Priya Ramanujam, founder of Urbanology MagazineEmily Rose Antflick, founder and chief community cultivator at ShecosystemAllison Hillier, serial entrepreneur and instructional designer, and Valerie Fox, founder of The Pivotal Point.

We think you will enjoy their stories of resistance. To listen while connected to the web, click here.  To download the podcast, click here.

Categories
Our Voices

Why Jamal Marched for the First Time

 

Sadaf Jamal (above, in the pink hijab) is the passionate and inspiring founder of Move N Improve, a non-profit focused on women’s health, wellness and empowerment, based in Durham Region, just east of  Toronto, Ont.

As a proud Muslim, mother, and graduate from the University of Waterloo (Ontario) with a Masters in Biology,  Jamal founded the company in response to her own struggles for achieving health through fitness while maintaining their commitment to the tenets of the Muslim faith. Move N Improve caters to the Muslim community, however, warmly invites all women interested in a fitness environment free from stereotypes, or the need for expensive form fitting workout wear to join the community.  Move N Improve provides a body positive safe space, a multifaith prayer area, childcare, and teaches Yoga in a way that has the Imams and Muslim scholars support. Jamal also arranges outdoor activities like sunrise watching, zip lining, and even skydiving.

On Friday, January 20, she set off for Washington, DC, along with 350 other women from the GTA, to attend the Women’s March. We asked Jamal to tell us about her experience.


LiisBeth: How did you get involved with the Women’s March?

Sadaf Jamal: I was invited to the march by Canadian march organizer Marissa McTasney (founder of Moxie Trades). I met Marissa at a new women’s entrepreneurship boot camp program called The Refinery, which is one of the programs run by the Community Innovation Lab in Durham. I was lucky enough to win third place in my business pitch competition!

L: What compelled you to go?

Jamal: The cause for this march resonated with what I do every day at my non-profit organization Move N Improve Canada. It is a health, wellness, and empowerment program for women of diversity. I stand up for diversity and inclusion every day. I empower Muslim women to feel proud of who they are and feel comfortable enough to educate others about their differences every day. It is not easy to live life as a woman. Throw in extra challenges of diversity and racism in a society that judges you through a lens of negative propaganda displayed by the media and life becomes harder. This march to me was a collective break of silence against injustice, an outward, out-loud expression of the inward struggle that many women go through in their lives to achieve their rights. We are all different yet similar in what we want in life, which is justice and equality.

L: What did your family think?

Jamal: Because I am a Muslim woman and because of the rhetoric used during the campaign, my family was very concerned that I was leaving for this march. But the cause of this march was too great to hold me back. My eight-year-old son did not want me to leave. He said, ‘It’s too dangerous Mama. Please don’t go. I love you. Just email them your concerns!’ But I told him that sometimes we must show up and stand up for what is right and the good of this world is worth fighting for. And for that we must face our fears like Batman and show courage!

L: What is the one thing you learned by attending?

Jamal: I learned that it is very important that we stick to our principles as we fight for equality. I realize how hard it is to be accommodating to people that you disagree with and the tendency is to shut them out. But now more than ever, we have to be able to listen, even to things we don’t agree with. We have to be willing to not shut ourselves off in a bubble. Like in this march, we saw thousands of women getting together to march under the banner of equality. We have to realize though that when it comes to taking practical steps to gain equality or even having discussions about what exactly equality looks like, there will be disagreements as we saw during the march. We have to be open to those voices and work together because we are people of principles who believe in the freedom of speech. Working together under the banner of equality for diverse communities is not very easy. But times and demographics are changing. We must empower people to respectfully educate others about their differences rather than staying in bubbles, and we also must empower ourselves to listen and understand, not just listen and reply. This will bridge gaps between communities

L:  Do you think marches matter or make a difference?

Jamal: I think marches matter in a specific context. If this march was only a heated eventful historic march, then it definitely will not make a difference unless the message is kept alive in the hearts and actions of daily lives. I see marches as a way of committing to the cause. So every person who showed up should dedicate time now in working for the principles they marched for. I know a lot of people, especially women of colour, who are already dedicating their time in fighting for equality for women but we need more people to be really committed to it. We need everybody to help each other out especially those who are more capable of reaching out, volunteering, networking, introducing, producing positive media coverage, and helping in whatever capacity. This is not a one-woman show! At the end of the day, marches are done by people. So, when it comes to making a difference, it is only people who can collectively do that.


This interview was edited for clarity.
To find out more about Sadaf Jamal’s enterprise visit Move N Improve.
To learn about the Refinery program in Durham Region, visit The Refinery.

Categories
Activism & Action Our Voices

THE MAKING OF A WALL STREET FEMINIST

 

(Illustration: Arts and Business Council of Philidelphia)

Feminists are never born. They are forged in the fire of experience. Sallie Krawcheck’s story, as told to an audience of 370+ mostly women business leaders at the Rotman School of Management in Toronto on Jan. 12, is a case in point.

Sallie Krawcheck, now 51, a celebrity ex-Wall Street CEO-turned entrepreneur, led a charmed life growing up. Her father was a member of the South Carolina House of Representatives. She was a homecoming Queen, cheerleader, track star and member of Tri-Delta Sorority; she received a full scholarship to complete her undergrad in journalism at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and earned an MBA from Columbia Business School. Both parents raised her to believe she could do and be anything if she worked hard. She believed them.

And for awhile it seemed true. But once in the workforce in her 20s, reality hit. Having the “balls” to endure sexism was still part of the job-not of part the past. Krawcheck recounts how photocopies of penises were left on her desk each morning (apparently just for laughs). Years later, having built a stellar reputation on Wall Street as a gifted analyst with legendary work quality, integrity, and ethics, Krawcheck was fired twice, both times from high-profile public roles. And she is pretty direct these days about why: She was fired because she was a woman, or more accurately, because she brought a woman’s perspective to the CEO suite.

Up until then, she had not considered herself a feminist.

“In fact, if you had asked me four or five years ago, based on the business books coming [out] about women, [I thought] we were on our way! We were going to have a woman President in the White House! Well, that didn’t happen. Today, we have a misogynist in the White House.”

Today, Krawcheck believes that progress for women has stalled, and in some areas, even been rolled back. She questions whether having women on corporate boards will make a difference—if those women also think like the men around them. She is convinced a new approach is needed to advance women’s equality to the next level.

What is Krawcheck’s “New” Approach?

In her new book, Own It: The Power of Women At Work, Krawcheck starts with the idea that women need to stop pretending to be men.

In Krawcheck’s view, the old practice of acting and thinking like a man to get ahead and stay on top has only served to perpetuate pervasive and often noxious “white-men group think”, which, in her view, was the real cause of the 2008 financial crash. “As someone who had a front-row seat,” she explains, “there were no evil geniuses pulling the strings.” Just guys who all look and think alike, and as a result, “didn’t see it coming.”

For Krawcheck, the antidote to this kind of destructive group think is diversity. Yet, the reason even companies that embrace diversity policies fall short of promised potential is that corporate leaders “count” diversity versus truly “listening”, rarely reward or are truly open to diverse points of view. Krawcheck believes women also hide or hold back their differences, and in so doing, actually undermine the potential diversity might deliver. For diversity to work, someone actually has to say something, out loud, that challenges the status quo or calls out questionable behaviour. And that, Krawcheck says, doesn’t happen often enough.

Feminist anti-essentialists would take issue with Krawcheck’s view that women are intrinsically different from men, but she holds that we need to learn to leverage the “six things we naturally have going for us.” These include: relationship skills, love of learning, proclivity to think about the long term, being more risk-aware, better at managing complexity, plus giving weight to meaning and purpose when making career and money decisions. Krawcheck says we don’t need more empowerment. We HAVE power. We just need to believe in its legitimacy, potency, and use it.

She also says women need to initiate the “courageous conversations” required to foster real change. As for fear of reprisal, Krawcheck reminds us that women have more options than ever before to take their talent elsewhere—and perhaps even become a freelancer or entrepreneur (though I am sure that with time, she will soon learn that these options are not gender barrier free either, nor do they necessarily result in better personal financial outcomes).

Finally, Krawcheck suggests women need to get control of their finances, learn to invest what they’ve earned and may soon inherit, and leverage their growing financial clout to create change. Money, after all, still talks.

Krawcheck’s Feminism

While Krawcheck rejected feminism in her earlier years, today, she fervidly brandishes the term around as part of her personal and new enterprise’s brand ethos. She talks proudly about how her son calls himself a feminist, and she has named 2017 as the year of the financial feminist. She interviewed Gloria Steinem (and noted in her talk that Steinem still has Macrame on her walls). Meeting rooms at Ellevest, the digital advising company for women she co-founded last year, are named after women feminist leaders (G for Gloria Steinem and A for Alice Walker).

Her earlier book, Mind the Gender Gap, is an excellent financial management resource that identifies where women are paying more due to gender, and what to do about it.

However, on the question of how to drive much-needed systems (political, economic, social and cultural) change, Krawcheck seems less sure of herself, her answer toned by an air of resignation.

“Well, we have to take control of what we can take control of,” she said in response to a question from the audience. “I think we have to work on the big stuff (like a parental leave in the U.S.), but we can only go so far.” She adds that we should elect more women, mentor women leaders, and write more often to elected representatives.

But let’s be honest. We all know from decades of doing these things that these approaches haven’t moved the needle as far, or as permanently, as we would have liked. We also know that any progress made can be summarily flattened by one single election or world event.

That is why feminism is not just about dealing with surface issues like corporate glass ceilings, or “living the life one chooses”. Fundamentally, it is about building better economic, social and political systems which as a result of enlightened design, inherently ensures equal political, social and economic power between the sexes, regardless of race, creed, colour or religion, for the benefit of all people and ultimately, the planet.

Will “Owning It” and Using Financial Power Bring on Equality?

Krawcheck’s own story shows she “owned it”, and had financial power. But that didn’t stop the men in charge from silencing her. So the answer is: Not likely.

Notwithstanding, Krawcheck’s advice for women to present authentically is refreshingly different from most of the women’s advice books out there. And it certainly is a break from the type of advice hocked by other female role models in positions of power such as real estate mogul and Shark Tank investor Barbara Corcoran, who says women should “hike up their skirts” to get ahead, or uninformed dismissal of feminism by women like Canadian celebrity entrepreneur Arlene Dickenson.

I also welcome Krawcheck’s efforts to help women recognize and use their financial power to create social change. And I am encouraged to see a wealthy, privileged, influential women like Krawcheck get ”woke” by reality and, as a consequence, re-engage with feminism. Feminism needs women from all walks of life and points of view to get on board with the movement—especially now.

That said, Krawcheck and others like her also need to remember that feminism is a long-standing, diverse and international movement (in existence since the 1600s) comprised of thousands of small grassroots organizations working for equality with scarce resources.  I hope her philanthropy is well aligned with her new feminist identity

Also, there is no such thing as one feminism, nor a dispassionate feminist. Thus, choosing low cost, high volume strategy for a “women’s centric” product-based enterprise that also aims for outsized investor returns while flying a feminist flag is risky. It reduces the addressable market. Polls (there are many, all similar conclusions) indicate that only somewhere between 18-23% of women openly identify as feminist.

And then there is the wide open ‘net. White male CEOs in secluded 40th-floor corner offices are one thing; radicalized internet trolls, male and female, who are everywhere, and know where you live, are quite another. The persistence, tactics (e.g.: calling for boycotts, generating negative publicity, hashtag campaigns) and recent growth of the women’s anti-feminist movement and men’s rights activism (MRA) movement is also worrisome. Krawcheck’s profile and feminism will likely draw their attention.

Andi Zeisler, author of We Were Feminists Once, wrote “The problem is – the problem has always been – that feminism is not fun. It’s not supposed to be fun. It’s complex and hard, and it pisses people off. It’s serious because it is about people demanding that their humanity be recognized as valuable.”

By mixing business with feminism, I hope Krawcheck, her board of directors and investors know they are in for an interesting ride. Building a business is one thing, but learning how to constructively deal with activism and gender politics is quite another.

As Gloria Steinem said, “Any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke . . . She will need her sisterhood.”


Related Readings: 

The F-Word and Why We Need to Get On With Embracing Equality” by Valerie Hussey

A Conversation with “We Were Feminists Once” Author Andi Zeisler” by Margaret Webb

Meaning is the New Money“, by Vicki Saunders, Founder, She-EO

Categories
Body, Mind & Pleasure Our Voices

Dimple Mukherjee Finds Her Voice—And Founds A Business

dimnple

 

Dimple Mukherjee, founder of Whole Self Consulting, didn’t plan on becoming an entrepreneur. She grew up in a largely traditional South Asian household and observed that starting and running a business was men’s work. However, modern life intervened. Separated with three kids and looking to finally build a life she could love, the answer for her became entrepreneurship, learning to speak, being heard and seen, and connecting with inspiring entrepreneurial women.

We loved speaking with Dimple. Her story is an example of the transformative power of entrepreneurship, and how successfully crossing the river towards entrepreneurship is often a matter of feeling for the stones.


LiisBeth: Tell us about your journey.

Dimple Mukherjee: I was born in India but raised in Taiwan. We moved to Toronto when I was 12. My mom was a homemaker, but my dad was an entrepreneur. He started at age 16. Growing up in a household where my dad and his brothers had built a life for themselves around their business, I always felt that that was not a possibility for me. It just seemed very male-dominated back in the ’70s and ’80s. Instead, I chose to become a health care worker, a healer. It wasn’t by intention that I became an entrepreneur, and I still have a hard time calling myself an entrepreneur.

It was by chance that I stumbled upon entrepreneurship as a path because I was coming from a place of wanting to be of real service to others, not just making money. Then,I read about Jadah Sellner, founder of Simple Green Smoothies. She said the way to think about entrepreneurship is to think about it as a way of creating and offering the world an important service. When I wrapped my head around that, I was comfortable calling myself an entrepreneur. I am all about service.

L: What did you do before starting your company?

DM: I worked in a hospital setting for about eight years. The job there gave me a little bit of understanding of how the world of business and entrepreneurship works. I was learning how to market myself within the medical industry, creating a name for myself, a reputation, which is all part of the entrepreneurial world. My job provided me with a stepping stone into the world of entrepreneurship.

L: Tell me a bit about how you decided to start Whole Self Consulting. Was it one of those aha moments that happen late at night?

DM: I think the journey began with a pivotal point in my life when I realized I was in a marriage that was no longer healthy for me. Still, I stayed in it because: a) I didn’t realize what was going on; b) due to the cultural programming that I grew up under, divorce was not an option; c) my kids. Growing up, I was programmed to believe that if you got divorced, the kids would suffer. I was struggling to find a way forward and didn’t know where to turn.

Meanwhile, I had also developed a passion for holistic living. I had begun pursuing a more holistic way of living when my kids were born, and I was finding that medicine didn’t have a lot of the answers for some common problems like ear infections and things like that. I started searching for other ways. I started seeing a naturopath and started living more holistically myself.

Then one day, I was in a natural food health store and I picked up this book Crazy Sexy Diet by Kris Carr. She is an entrepreneur and a cancer survivor. Carr’s website then led me to Marie Forleo’s website. She is a female entrepreneur who has a program called B-School. It helps and inspires women to start online businesses. That was very intriguing to me, but I still didn’t understand why at the time.

But that was in 2012. As I became more involved in B-School, I found I was really attracted to her teachings about how to become a creative entrepreneur, but I still didn’t know what I wanted to do with it. During this time, I had thought about doing my MBA. While preparing for the GMAT, one of my peers said, “Why are you even bothering with an MBA? You’re trying to build a life. Build on your passion for holistic living. Develop entrepreneurial skills.”

She also encouraged me to take an integrative nutrition course. So I joined the Institute for Integrative Nutrition online. From there, I decided that I wanted to become a health coach. I got my certification in health coaching, separated from my husband, and Whole Self Consulting was born.

L: Why did you choose to immerse yourself in an online entrepreneur program for women (B-School)?

DM: I think it stems from how I was raised and just being very comfortable around women and not around men. Intuitively, I felt drawn to women and the feminine energy based on my intuition. If I look back to my upbringing, I was brought up in a home where the male figure was dominant. We were three girls and a boy, and my dad’s mentality was that once a girl is married, she is gone. She belongs to her husband. Her duty is to service her husband and her husband’s family.

I didn’t learn to speak, metaphorically, until I left my parents’ home and went to university. I was always very uncomfortable in school, very shy, very withdrawn, very much an introvert, and I felt uncomfortable around men. I think I was drawn to these female leaders because I felt safe to speak openly in their presence.

L: You talked about the value of women’s spaces. Some argue that we don’t need that anymore or we shouldn’t need to have that. What’s your sense of why women feel safer and more comfortable talking when there are no men in the room?

DM: Every woman’s experience is different. We all come from various backgrounds. Some of us have been subjected to all kinds of domestic violence, sexual violence. I think because of the years and years of oppression, women have learned how to connect with each other in women-only spaces. I think women-only spaces thrive because women feel a sense of safety in them.

Also, many South Asian women are often uncomfortable allowing themselves to be “seen” or heard in co-ed settings because, traditionally, women have assumed the background role of being mothers, nurturers, or homemakers. If they push to be seen or heard, they feel as though they are being disrespectful to men, even if they are around men who don’t think like that. The result is that many women find it hard to take on leadership roles in groups. They want to keep themselves small to make others feel comfortable.

L: Do women behave differently in women-only spaces?

DM: Mm-hmm. Women actually want women’s spaces so they can be themselves and talk freely about their issues. Research shows that when you have men in the same room as women, men silence women just by their presence. They tend to set the agenda and they also tend to talk over women.

Also, I found that women actually thrive under the company and the social support of women. Being in a women-only space enhances the women’s ability to bring forth what they need to in the world.

L: Tell me about Bindi Parlour.

DM: Bindi Parlour was brewing in my system, like everything else, for a long period. Bindi Parlour, on a surface level, is like a girl’s night in at a friend’s home with eight to 12 of your closest friends. It could even be people that the hostess may not know well, but that she has decided to invite into her home for a Bindi Parlour. During the first two hours of this party, I facilitate a women’s circle and it takes the form of experiential learning.

There’s a different theme to every Bindi Parlour depending on what the women want. One of the themes that have been popular with women has been self-compassion. Some other topics that have come out of this is the art of gratitude and the importance of daily rituals. Women are responding well to the learning that happens in Bindi Parlours but beyond the learning, they’re establishing deeper, richer connections that are serving a need that’s lacking right now in our society: connections with themselves and with other women.

L: After a Bindi Parlour, what do they take with them into the real world?

DM: I got a few testimonials and have done feedback sessions with them as well. The words they used were that they could release. By releasing, they were able to tap into those barriers within themselves. Once they’ve released that, they felt inspired to take action.

At that point, I encourage them to identify one little action that they might take back into their lives, or one little thing that they can share with a friend. They leave feeling very inspired, uplifted, and able to relieve emotions that they didn’t even realize they had until they were within the power of a group of women.

L: Who’s the target market?

DM: Women between the ages of 30 and 60. I get a lot of women from my generation whose parents are immigrants to this country. Women, in general, are really hungry for something like this.

L: When you’re crafting a Bindi Parlour, do you recommend that everybody know each other? Or is it better when they don’t know each other?

DM: I like women that don’t know each other, simply because it is difficult for a woman to open up when she has friends there that she has known since she was a child. You never know what’s going to come out in the group. Lately, there are themes that have been coming up such as infertility, which I had never thought would come up.

Infertility is a very sensitive topic for a woman, and it touches every core of her being: body image issues, guilt, and shame. She may wonder if something is wrong with her. It makes sense that that would come up when you’re talking about self-compassion, but I didn’t think that women would dig so deep. It just goes to show you what that power of sisterhood can do. When one person in the group decides to open up, it gives permission for the other women to open up.

L: What does it cost to attend a Bindi Parlour?

DM: It’s $40 per person. It’s not making money right now, but that’s not a big concern for me. One of my beliefs is that the money will come if you’re doing something you love and you’re being of service and it’s coming from a well-intended place.

L: From an entrepreneurial perspective, where do you want to be with Bindi Parlour or Whole Self Consulting in five to 10 years?

DM: I’d like Bindi Parlour to be accessible to as many women as I can make it available on a global level. For that, it’s going to have to take on the shape of an online program. However, I don’t want to lose the intimacy of an in-person women’s circle. That will mean that I have to somehow keep the spark of the in-person circles alive while creating and holding space for women online. Eventually, I would like Bindi Parlour to be a community of women who gather together, whether in-person, online or at a retreat, to become the best versions of themselves.

L: What’s one book you would recommend to our readers?

DM:  That’s easy! Pussy: A Reclamation by Regena Thomashauer.


This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Related Readings: “Why Shecosystem Is My System”, by Marni Levitt